Frustrated...

I am so frustrated right now. For many reasons... I will list my reasons of frustration for the day:

1) Laziness
2) Playing dumb
3) Wasting of food
4) Whining and temper tantrums, child and adult alike.
5) Money and rent and stupid places that promise help then turn around and don't give it

Okay, let me elaborate a bit... Laziness... how hard is it to put something away in it's proper spot, or look in the refrigerator and assess what is in it by opening containers. Playing dumb... something my children do constantly that makes me want to smack them senseless so that when they act that way it's for a reason. Wasting of food... Something that is done in this house constantly that pisses me off. Why can't people just eat the friggin leftovers? I do all the time. I take them with me to work for my lunch and dinner. Why can't anyone else institute a "clean out the fridge night" ?? I just threw away so much food, it could have fed a homeless person for a month. Fuck. That really makes me mad. I can only eat so much leftovers myself, I'm only one person! Whining and temper tantrums... that one is self explanitory. Money and rent and stupid people who claim they will help only to back out when you're so close to saving your home you can almost get there, but can't with out just a little more help. I'm very frustrated right now, as this place said they would help us with the rest if we were able to borrow $ from my dad. I did that, now they're trying to get out of helping us like they said the would. Fuckers. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't even know if it's too late at this point to be able to stay here. I'm afraid of going to work and getting a frantic call from my sister because the cops are here physically removing us from our home. No one else around here seems nearly as stressed out about this as I am.

Skye's Brain...

Skye's Brain...

I just thought I'd share a couple of pics of the inside of my boy's head so you can guess see the growth on his poor brain. So here ya go!!! The cyst is in the posterior fossa region of the brain (rear) and is the large dark spot on the top photo(on the bottom) and you can see it in the back on the bottom photo...

About freaking time...

About freaking time...

Nik, you'll be proud of me! I FINALLY seasoned my wok you got me for my birthday/xmas! ha ha ha... damn I'm a slacker! I'm making teriyaki chicken, stir fry veggies, rice and egg drop soup for dinner tonight.... MMMMMM So anyhow, I thought I'd just share with everyone that I finally did that so now I can finally use it, lol!

Happy Thoughts for my Daddy!

Happy Thoughts for my Daddy!
Current mood: worried

As some of you may know, my dad has been dealing with recurring tumors on his bladder for a few years now. He's been through 3 surgeries and two rounds of Chemo now to battle this. He just went in for a check up (he has them every 6 months to a year) and he has two that have come back again. He will go in for surgery on the 27th to remove them (again!) and then another round of chemo. So everyone, please think happy thoughts, pray or do a special dance, whatever it is you believe in, just wish him wellness and a speedy recovery from this!!! He may be staying with us so we can keep an eye on him.

Silver Lining

Silver Lining

Well, our clouds are starting to part, the silver lining is showing and things are starting to work out. Kelly has finally landed a job, not the best, but better than nothing, with a promotion in the works as he was hired even. We will have to borrow money from family to pay off our rent for this month, but we've also worked out a way to bring some of the cost of our rent down a bit, by doing the landscaping here. We'll be taking over for the people who live downstairs, as they are moving out soon. We will still need some help most likely to make May's rent, however, at this point we *should* be able to get help from DSHS to cover that and that will put us in the green again. It's been a very rough road, but once I know for sure our housing is secure again, I'll be able to focus on things that are far more important to me (Skye's health and my own for that matter!) and climb back out of the depression hole I've been in. So just thought I'd update you all a little, I will update again soon when things have all finalized and we are for sure on the green path again!

Freaking out!

Freaking out!

Well, I talked to my landlord today. She said that we're going to be served with a 3 day pay or vacate notice tomorrow. First time I've ever faced an eviction, EVER. I have no idea what we're going to do now. we're so totally fucked.

The curse of the internet and sharing of information

The curse of the internet and sharing of information
Current mood: depressed

So I decided to start doing research and reading up on Arachnoid Cysts. What I've found is absolutely devastating for me. The pain, the suffering, the surgeries, and the symptoms people with AC have to deal with on a daily basis. I've found that the symptoms seem to vary only slightly from person to person, and often times depending on where the cyst is located. Skye has a posterior fossa cyst. Meaning his is in the rear. Probably one of the "best" spots to have it if you have one from the sounds of it. I want to get a hold of his CT scans from when he gave himself that concussion when he was 4. I honestly wonder if he's one of the few that got this condition due to head injury, rather than being born with it. Really, it's honestly tearing me up inside so much I'm an emotional basket case, knowing the hell my baby is going to most likely have to face in the future with this thing. It's not as easy as "well, just remove it and it's gone, no issue". so far, I've not read a single story where that's the case. Maybe there are some out there, and because they've had success, they don't write about it, or aren't part of a support group because they're doing okay. I've constantly read that dr's are so in the dark and clueless about this condition, that most just don't want to deal with it or treat it. Now I'm starting to wonder if the dr that I took Skye to is one of those. I've been warned of the words "incidental finding" in regards to it. Because how can it really be incidental if it's causing pain? If he weren't having migraines, we wouldn't have found it, probably for a very long time or maybe not even at all. But I just can't see how these dr's out there can say it's not what's causing the migraines and the other symptoms, when 9 times out of 10, these poor people wouldn't have these problems, aka symptoms, if they didn't have the cyst to begin with! Argh, I'm rambling... Expect that alot from me on this subject as time goes on. I'm sure we'll become jaded towards the medical community at some point because of this. Like so many others have. argh....

f-ing damn it!

f-ing damn it!
Current mood: distressed

and here we thought that things had finally turned around for us. Kelly is once again jobless. apparently something came up on his background check that they didn't like, so changed their minds about hiring him. So here we go again. Totally fucked. Anyone have any bright ideas? We're so going to wind up homeless and I totally don't know what to do or where to turn at this point. Fucking damn it all to hell I say! I give up. I throw in the towel. I can't even think straight any longer.

Insanity of staying home!

Insanity of staying home!
Current mood: bored

How was I ever a SAHM for so long? Seriously, I'm going INSANE from not going to work today, and it's only been one day off. I mean, of course I like my weekends, but facing having almost a week off of work is making me near insane. How am I going to amuse myself? Fuck! You can only watch so much tv and do so much indoor stuff. With it raining, I can't really take the kids out to do anything outside. Which is honestly where I'd prefer to be right now. I have this gardening bug all of a sudden, and nothing to plant! And no gardening tools either. argh! Maybe I'll post a wanted on freecycle for such things! Hey, that's a good idea! I'll go do that now. That'll hold my attention for about 30 seconds!

Wish me luck!

Wish me luck!

I'm selling, or rather attempting to, sell a bunch of stuff on Craigslist to try and help make ends meet. We're still behind on rent, also the cable/internet and phone bill. If we can just get caught up, we should be okay. It's the getting caught up part that sucks. So if anyone local is interested in finding out what all I have for sale, let me know! Wish me luck that our stuff sells, so I can 1) pay the bills and 2) reclaim lost space in the house!! ;)

Update on Skye, Post appt.

Update on Skye, Post appt.

Okay, here's the scoop. Skye is being put on Topamax for his migraines (yes, it's an anti-seizure med, but also used to treat migraines). He's to go back in to the Neurologist at Childrens for a checkup at the end of July, and have another MRI in a year to check on the cyst to make sure it hasn't grown. Apparently this type of cyst is quite common, though occurring in males more often than females. His is still considered small enough to not worry about yet as it is not constricting the passage of fluid between the brain and the spine. Click Here to read up on the specifics of the condition from the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS). The neurologist said that all the neurological tests were fine (he did a whole bunch of them on him today) and paired with the MRI thinks that once we get the migraines under control he'll be okay for a good while. Part of the migraines is that he's straining his neck and causing himself a tension headache to deal with the pain in the front from the migraine... vicious little circle. We're to keep him on a strict sleep schedule and up his intake of foods rich in magnesium and riboflavin (as well as a multivitamin containing these) and cut out caffeine completely if possible. Which is pretty much nothing anyhow because I don't let the kids drink much soda, any coffee, though I do let them drink tea, so I'll cut that to decaf for them. Drink lots of water all that stuff.. The kid already eats and drinks healthier than most kids his age, so that's good. Won't really have to change his diet much at all. So that's where we sit now.... Still in limbo so to speak, but treating the side effect of the headaches...

I hate parking lots...

I hate parking lots...

The one at Albertsons, in specific. I swear that place is a death trap! Several years ago in the early morning hours, I went to the store to pick up a newspaper and some donuts and juice for a breakfast treat for the kids. I was attempting to leave, was half way out of my parking spot and this car full of old people back out and rear end my rear end. Of course, it's all my fault because they were there first because they were older than I. How the fuck does that work? I didn't have insurance at the time, and my car was repoed shortly thereafter... Anyhow, flash forward to yesterday, about 7 years later. Same parking lot. Near the same parking spot even! My sister and I had just finished a shopping trip (something not done often at this particular store because of said parking lot) and we're trying to leave. We wind up sitting in our parking spot for about 3 minutes in reverse, moved about 3 feet from where we started, because 2 different people want our spot and are coming from opposite directions and both refuse to move so we can back out. In the meantime, 2 other people, in the spots opposite us (behind us) also would like to leave. So finally both people in the lane move a little bit so I can start backing my van out. (If I'd had a compact car, it wouldn't have been an issue so much.) So here I am, 3/4 out of my parking spot once again, and the person opposite me decides they're going to leave as well, start backing out and almost hit me! I was honking my horn trying to get their attention and they must have been backing w/o looking at all because they were inches from my ass end by the time they stopped. So we finally get out of the space and are trying to head out and the lady who'd pulled in from the direction we were trying to head was in the middle of the lane, and I couldn't pass on either side because of the width of my van. So she had to pull back even further to be able to let me through. When I finally got out of there, I was sooooo friggin happy and vowed never to go there again. I'll drive the couple miles to the other Albertsons should I decide I need to go to that store in the future! It's absolute insanity!!!!!