Argh...

Frustration. Pure and simple. It's my life. Total frustration. Granted a lot of my frustration stems from the choices I've previously made. Like the choice to leave my husband before I got a job and saved up money for my own place, putting me in the mercy of my friends. While I love them to death and am extremely grateful to them for taking my children, sister and I all in, I'm so sick and fucking tired of the shit that goes on here supposedly "under the radar". For instance, I know my kids can be annoying, and quite often get into trouble for stupid shit, but also quite often they're being set up to get into trouble. Their eldest child is a sneaky little shit, and really has her parents wrapped around her little finger. She's excellent at twisting things to get my kids in trouble, and does so at every given opportunity. And to get what she wants. It's really annoying. Granted, we all see through her when she tries to tattle on others, and that doesn't really fly. But she's screwed them over more than a couple times. And then there's the chores thing. My boys do the majority of the housework, and have given up just about everything in life they're used to. It's totally upended their whole lives. I feel extremely guilty and terrible about this, and kind of wish I could rewind back to August and not have ever moved out. I'm sure things would be much MUCH different at this point in time. Maybe even better. But that I'll never know. I'm just frustrated with life on many levels and in many aspects. I hate many of the choices I've made and I'm dealing with them the best I can. I'm just so frustrated so much of the time that I want to beat my head against a wall, and maybe someone else's as well. I've also come to the conclusion, that the most under-appreciated and un-recognized women are military stay at home moms. Regular civilain stay at home moms, really, just can't hold a flame to them. Bitch and whine all you want about needing a break and your husband coming home late from work, but really, shut the fuck up. Until you go weeks or months or god forbid a year or more without a "break" or even seeing your spouse, you just really don't have all that much room to bitch about it. I've been there done that. It's not any fun, and you feel like your whole being, not just your head is going to explode. And they wonder why so many sah"m"m's are on head meds.... Okay, enough of my ranting about random shit for this evening. I'm feeling a bit better now.... Can't wait to go to bed... argh.