a parenting dilemma

Okay, so here's the scoop. We now have all 5 kids with us during the day full time. I have taken a no tolerance policy with all of them, because they all know our house rules, and I'm tired of giving warnings when they misbehave. They don't listen when I give warnings, so I just straight give them their "punishment" with no warnings now when they misbehave. So we come to Felicity, Kelly's daughter. Up until Kelly and I moved in together and my sister and I started watching her, she was treated like a freaking princess. I don't do spoiled, I don't do princess attitude (or prince, seeing as how the rest of our kids are male) and I don't do the one kid is better than the rest crap. They're all equal, they're all the same. They all get the same punishments equal to age and what they did wrong. Yesterday, Felicity got into some stuff in the garage that she knew was not hers, did not ask and was playing with it. When I saw her with said items, I asked her where she got it and if she'd asked for it. She straight up lied to me about where she got it, and started back talking to me when I called her out on it. So she (and Alex because he was playing with said items as well) got the punishment for lying and taking something that wasn't theirs without asking. After that I told her that if she didn't behave for the rest of the day, then she wouldn't be going to the Aquarium with the rest of us the next day, that I would find a sitter for her and the rest of us would go (the last time I'd planned on us going to the Aquarium we didn't get to go because she was a terrible brat the day before and I'd told her the same thing but we couldn't find a sitter, so everyone got punished for her bad behavior and I don't feel that's fair to the other children). So I get home from work last night and ask her how she was today while I was at work and if she thought she should get to go to the Aquarium and she said she was bad and that she didn't think she should get to go. Okay, there's some honesty, a bonus point for that at least. But now I've been fighting with Kelly over this. He's home from work today because they're upgrading the servers. So I figured he can watch his daughter for the day, as that would work perfectly with the punishment from the day before, and my sister and I would keep consistent with what was said the day before and follow through and just take the boys, as planned. He didn't think it was fair that she should have to stay behind and that I should just pretend like he's not here, because he's not going to watch her. I said fine then, I will call my friend and see if she will watch her or we will all just stay home, because that's what we would do if he wasn't home. He got pissed, yelled at me and stormed off. He cooled off some and told me to just do what I felt I needed to do. So I left her behind with her father and took the boys to the Aquarium. So, am I mean and awful for following through with the punishment that she herself had agreed to the day before? Or am I right in following through, and teaching her that when you misbehave, you don't still get to do all the fun stuff? Oh and I guess he must have told Amanda, Felicity's mom, what was going on when she came to drop her off for the day. Because Amanda took a half day off from work and came and got her early. Which in the end defeats my intentions and purpose of leaving her behind to teach her the lesson of bad behavior is not rewarded (and to her it's a serious reward for mommy to take a day or even off early and spend time with her). Grrrr.

Curious...

So, my ex called my house while he was up asking for my address for the umteenth time. I was at work when he called, so my sister just gave it to him, not asking why or anything. He told me later that he'd "lost his drivers license, so was having his new one sent to my house". I didn't think anything of it at the time, but then yesterday a bank card shows up at my house addressed to him. Interesting, first a drivers license addressed at my house and now a bank account? Does this seem fishy to anyone else? Why would he do that when he doesn't even live in the same state? I'm tempted to send it back saying person does not reside here rather than mailing it to him. Seems kinda strange to me.

Ian's Cake!

Current mood: relieved
Category: Life

So I finished Ian's cake this morning. Rather than trying to deal with royal icing that would probably just melt into the cake, I used marzipan to make some of the decoration "stickers" on the skateboard. Then I spray painted the numbers on the one end with edible "paint". I'm pleased with how it turned out, considering by the time I was done with icing it last night the smell of the sugar was making me ill. So anyhow, here's a pic of the final cake... not exactly professional quality, but better than I thought it would turn out honestly!

wow...

Current mood: irate

I always thought my ex was a little on the crazy side, but now I know he really is fully nuts! I just got off the phone with him, and he was accusing me of messing with his bank account and taking money out! First off, everyone knows that if you're not on the account, you're not getting jack out of it. I have one joint account still with him, at an unrelated bank (or I'm assuming) that's been sitting at $0 for months now. I'm thinking he still doesn't know how to keep track of his funds and over drew himself again and wants someone other than himself to blame. And I'm an easy target. Any money problems we had when we were together, were the result of his "miscalculations". (i.e. he won't and doesn't know how to balance a checkbook to save his life). And then he was insisting that he had an account at washington mutual that he added me onto after we got married that I overdrew and he still owes money to. (he's got that one backwards, he had an account at wells fargo that they wouldn't add me to, so I added him to my wamu account. Which he overdrew later with a payday loan and I paid it off last year in order to open a new account there for myself and ONLY myself! screw joint accounts--they're not worth it!) Anyhow, to make a long story shortened, I'm unsure if he's made the van payment for this month, don't think he's going to make it for next month, and am going to have to hide my van again because he's an idiot and can't keep track of his spending. Argh!!!! Oh, and apparently all my military wife friends are feeding me information to mess with him. WTF?! I swear to god he's a paranoid schitzophrenic and I'm like my dad, married a crazy!

I hate lawn mowers...

Current mood: irate

They are my nemesis! So we're supposed to take care of the grounds to get a reduction on our rent. Which would be fine and dandy if we could get the f-ing lawn mower to work! I've tried new gas, checked the oil, spark plug, and just about everything else I can f-ing think of. I can't get more than a puff of fucking smoke and a sore arm from trying to start the friggin thing. I'm so frustrated, because the grass just keeps getting longer and longer and I can't get the damned thing to work. Time to call my dad and see if he can get the damned thing to work since he's a groundskeeper for the county-- he should know how to fix the damned thing!

Work Ethic...

Current mood: annoyed

I really don't understand the work ethic of some people. Primarily those who like their job while it's easy, but as soon as the work load increases, they want to quit their job or do quit their job. Though I also don't understand those who work their ass off for little pay when they know they're getting completely screwed and have management experience they could easily take somewhere else for more pay and better hours. I find myself somewhere in the middle of that... I've got okay experience, hate my hours (and lack there of) and could stand to make a higher wage. I like what I do for the most part, and I like the people I work with. Which makes it hard for me to go out and find something better, because I really do honestly like the people I work with and may not find that to be true at the next job I take on. I would really like to work a regular schedule however, monday thru friday with set hours again. Because that would create a better level of stability for not just me, but my kids. It's hard. I guess I need to figure out what's most important (stability and money vs. my comfort level) to me... for a while now it's been my comfort level, as I'm confident in my work and know that I know what I'm doing. Guess it's time to take some advice that was given to me though--Take risks, you can't fall off the bottom! And that's where I've been for a while now!!

Silly Everything Test

Current mood: tired

So I copied my friend Bri and did the everything test... here's my results:

The Everything Test

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

Personality You are more emotional than logical, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more atheist than religious, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more rebel than traditional, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more cynical than idealist, more leader than follower, and more introverted than extroverted. As for specific personality traits, you are romantic (71%), greedy (57%), adventurous (56%).

Stereotypes Punk Rock 87% Old Geezer 83% Emo Kid 67%

Life Experience Sex 33% Substances 41% Travel 15%

Politics Your political views would best be described as Socialist, whom you agree with around 94% of the time.

Socioeconomic Your attitude toward life best associates you with Working Class. You make more than 56% of those who have taken this test, and 61% less than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13. By the way, your hottness rank is 48%, hotter than 13% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TEST
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Update on my health status

I've made my appointment for my totaly invasive "girl parts" exam. They may or may not take a biopsy, so I have to take 800 mg of ibuprophen before my appt. Fun. It's on July 9th, so if I'm a crabby bitch that day, you know why, lol! That was the soonest they could get me in for this type of exam. I'm so not looking foward to it! On another note, I'm going to be getting back on my synthroid soon, so now maybe I'll be able to get myself back on track with loosing the weight that came back since being off the meds and get myself out of the mental funk I've been in for as long as I've been off my medication. Maybe I'll be back to being my normal smart-ass, happy go lucky self in about a month, or maybe I'll just keep the crabby mopey emo bitch attitude ;)

Incidental finding my ass...

Current mood: enraged
Category: Life

Now I truly know the frustration of the phrase "incidental finding". This is a phrase that everyone on the yahoo group for AC's feels is like fingernails on a chalkboard. If you all could read what these poor people go through every day of their lives, you'd want to choke the shit out of anyone who said that about this as well.

I tried to make an appointment with neurosurgery for Skye, as I was told that the referral for the neurologist just stated it was for the headaches, not the cyst and that I would need to make an appointment with neurosurgery to address the cyst itself. Well, because the neurologist that he saw, whom happens to specialize in epilepsy (which of course, has nothing to do with his condition) put in his notes that the AC was an "incidental finding", we've hit a brick wall. Neurosurgery won't see him until "there's something wrong." WTF is all I can say. GRRRRRRRR. "Something wrong." Apparently there's not something wrong with an 8 year old having migraines and pressure in his head constantly, running into walls and such from random blurred vision when his eyesight is at 20/15 per a recent exam... Yeah, there's something wrong. Something really fucking wrong when dr's won't address the issue and brush shit off as incidental findings when there is NO other reason for the symptoms.

The topamax they put him on for the migraines has taken the edge off, but he's still got pressure all the time and still wakes with headaches. I need to get together with his ped and talk with him about all this. I know it's going to piss him off, because I know, and he knows, that 8 year olds should not have migraines and that the cause is obviously the cyst. The reason we went for the ct and mri in the first place was to FIND the problem, and we did... It is the cyst! So therefore, NOT an incidental finding! Am I right or am I wrong here??

I've already vented to the AC group, I'm sure they'll be just as pissed as I am about this. Many of them are working hard to change the medical community's view on AC's and what symptoms they cause. Just because it's not a tumor, they label it as "incidental" like it can't possibly be the root of any dysfunction or pain. I've got myself something to work towards. Helping the AC sufferers to push the medical community into changing their perspective on this illness and not treating it as nothing, but an actual ailment. I'm going to go off an a whole huge tangent if I don't stop myself here. I'll get off my small soap box now before I take the step up behind the podium and start really preaching.

Since I can't post what I'm listening to right now through the little thingy.... I'm listening to Butt Trumpet's "I've been so mad lately". Very appropriate song per my mood right now. If you don't like swearing, don't listen to that song, lol...

Near Death by Artichokes!

Current mood: groggy

Okay, so we all know I'm a bit of a freak. I have strange allergies. I'm allergic to artichokes, of all things. I found this out many years ago while working @ Providence Hospital in the medical records dept. I decided to buy lunch in the cafeteria one day, a pasta, artichoke and pesto dish. It was great, and I loved the artichokes, as I'd never had them before. But within a few minutes, I started feeling not so good. Chest tightening, mouth and throat start swelling.... I was having an allergic reaction! Luckily a little benedryl kicked it in the rear and I was okay. Fast forward to today. My friend Conner was over doing some laundry and picked up an artichoke for his lunch while we were at the grocery store. He brought it back here and cooked it up. Somehow, during the process of cooking it, he managed to contaminate my soup (at least that's what I think happened). Within a few minutes of eating said soup, my mouth starts swelling, my chest feels like I have a pile of bricks is on it and of course my inhaler doesn't help. Luckily my next door neighbor had some prescription strength benedryl, so that took care of it once again. I need to just buy some and keep it on me for moments like this, sheesh! All it took was a couple drops of water the stupid things were boiled in to throw me into an allergic fit. argh... I hate artichokes!

Wish me luck!!!

Current mood: crazy

So I asked Ian this morning what type of theme he wanted for his birthday. He's decided on a skateboarding theme. His heroes being Tony Hawk and Bam Margera, I have been trying to come up with some ideas for his party. At first he wanted a cake with a heartagram on it, which was proving to be a difficult thing for me, as I was unsure how to go about making a huge ass heartagram for the top of his cake. Since he's at school right now, he has no idea what I have schemed up now! I found the pattern/directions to make a cool skateboard cake, that's very simple. Now for the difficult part. I came up with the bright idea to make "bumper stickers" out of royal icing to attach to said skateboard cake. I figured this would make it look that much more like a skateboard, since most skaters slap stickers on their boards. So now I have 3 royal icing "stickers" to make.I've already got the plans rough sketched out on a piece of paper. Now it's the actually doing it part that I'm worried about! So wish me luck that I can pull this off, because if I can do this, then I'm sure I'll be able to pull off Leeanna & Shane's wedding cake next year! lol... Royal icing is a pain to work with, and when doing more than one color, you need to do it in stages. So since I'll be working with a few colors, this should be interesting. Put my cake decorating skills to the test here! I'm going to start on it next week, since they'll need a while to dry in between colors and dry really well before I can attach it to the cake. Ack! What am I thinking?! lol!!!

Pray for my health....

Pray for my health....
Current mood: worried

I went and had my yearly done recently and got the results back on Friday. Not good news. It looks as if I have pre-cancerous cells and get to go in for this fun little test called a colposcopy. Wish me luck.

When I told Kelly, he was obviously upset and was trying to reassure me that everything would turn out fine. Told me that there's no way I'm getting off this rock before him, lol... It was actually a really sweet moment, considering the circumstances. One of my biggest fears is to die before I get to see my children grow up. And this makes my fear less vauge of a possibility.

Paranoia...

Paranoia...
Current mood: frustrated

Ever since my van was repoed a few months ago, I'm paranoid as hell. Especially since my ex husband has decided he's going to be the one to make the payments. Since he took over the payments, he's bounced one check to the bank the loan is through and I am so scared he's going to decide to wait 10 days one of these times to make the payment cuz he never pays anything on time, and it's going to get repoed again. This time I know it will be gone forever, because I just don't have that kind of money hanging out. Only reason I did before was it was my friggin rent money, which put us in the other bind we were in with rent. It all drives me friggin nuts. As if I don't have enough on my plate already, ya know? Sheesh!!! okay, going to go now.....