What a way to start a new month...

So went to the hospital last night to visit grandma... Doesn't look good. She'd gone in with an DNR then changed her mind and told them if anything happens to make all efforts. So we're keeping her on the life support in hopes she makes an about face. The dr's aren't sure exactly what happened but speculate that she has some sort of infection caused by her weakened immune system from the chemo and her body is fighting it. She'd gone into respiratory arrested and coded. As of last night when we were all there, she was intubated, part of her heart wasn't beating and her kidneys weren't functioning. so many tubes wires and machines... no one should have to see a loved one like that... My sister couldn't even go to the hospital... She just couldn't bear to see her like that. I almost wish I hadn't either... anyhow... enough of this depressing shit....