Depressed

Depressed
Current mood: depressed

that's how I'm feeling lately. I just realized it. I've been ignoring everyone while at the same time not. I'm here, but only physically. I have come to loathe this time of year when I used to love it. As I've gotten older, the magic of christmas has faded and I've become bitter and hollow feeling every fall. I try to put on a happy face for everyone, but really, I'm pretty numb inside. It always starts around thanksgiving, and then lasts through the rest of the winter. I've tried retail therapy, but that of course only makes it worse, because then I wind up spending too much. Did that today, though on purpose with the intention of returning some items. not sure what I was thinking really. Anyhow, I'm rambling about that. right now, I just want to bury myself, so I think I'll do the next closest thing and find my bed.