hmmmm...

Guess that last post sounded bad. I didn't mean throw in the towel as in completely. Just as in I give in to the stress and Steve and just stay with him even though that's not what I want. Or maybe I should just get over myself and move out like I keep saying I'm going to. I'm just so blasted scared. That's the only thing holding me back, is my fears of the unknown. I'm such a planner, that if something gets in the way of planning, I'm like a bad train wreck. Staying here, I'm a frazzled stressed out mess all the time. I've been eating myself fat again, stuffing my face constantly. I had my sister take a picture of me just a few min ago, I'm so fat in that picture that I want to cry until I can't physically cry any longer and never come out of my room... Good grief.